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Five Things Your Learned About Networking From Your Mother By Michelle R. Donovan Mothers are a beautiful thing. They care for us, they nurture us and they teach us the do's and don'ts of life. I've learned a lot from my mother. Especially when she taught me all about life, love and networking! I'm sure she didn't realize she was teaching me about networking at the time! Indeed she was and I bet your mom taught you about networking as well. Perhaps the words of my mom might sound familiar to you. 1. "Share your toys" I can't remember how many times my mom told me to share! She felt it was important that we knew how to give to others. Growing up in a large family, I had to share almost everything. Sharing is good to learn when you're young, because it's a skill that helps to make us approachable. Networking just wouldn't be networking if we didn't share. We can build stronger relationships with people when we're willing to share our resources. Some of our best resources include time, money, connections, information, knowledge, and skills. People appreciate us when we're willing to give to the relationship. Giving people are approachable and reap the benefits of reciprocity. 2. "Walk, don't run!" I used to hear this phrase no matter where we were ... in the house, in the grocery store, in the mall, in church, and even at school! As a kid, I was always in a hurry to get to the next exciting thing around the corner. I couldn't wait! There always seemed to be someplace more interesting than where I was at the time. My attention was short and my mom was trying to teach me patience. Patience is a virtue when it comes to networking. A fast paced networker misses the true essence of the event and could very easily blow right past a tremendous opportunity. Fast paced networkers tend to build shallow relationships that offer little or nothing of value to their business. On the other hand, patient networkers build deep, long lasting relationships that significantly impact the growth of their business. Establishing a network that has depth far exceeds one that is shallow and frail. 3. "You have to work for it!" Nothing in life worth having comes easy ... you have to work for it! My parents taught me this lesson by example. Both of my parents worked hard for what they accomplished and gave to their five children. They were determined to provide a wonderful life for their family and indeed they did. Today, in their retirement, they are reaping the benefit of their labor. Networking is no different. That's why it's called, net-WORK! It's not net-SIT or net-EAT! Building relationships takes not only time, but effort and energy. It also takes commitment and dedication to the process. Some people put their faith in the six degrees of separation theory that tells them that they're connected to anyone by only six degrees. In fact, this theory is flawed. This study actually showed that only 29% of the population is indeed separated by six degrees! So, for the majority of us, we've got to work hard to get into the 29% or work hard to just stay there. The reward for accomplishing this task is great ... beyond what we can even imagine. Our mothers must have had foresight! 4. "Say thank you" Not long after we began to speak my mom was making sure that we knew how to say "thank you". As most kids do, I wanted to know "why" saying "thank you" was so important. Because being a fast paced kid, there seemed to be no time for "thank yous". In true mom form, my mother would reply, "because it's the right thing to do". Before I knew it, saying "thank you" became second nature and it felt right. It became a part of who I am and how I operate. Little did I know then that my mom was teaching me one of the biggest of life's lessons. Saying "thank you" to those who have helped you in some way shows your gratitude, expresses your appreciation, and solidifies the steps made towards further developing the relationship. It seems as though these two little words don't pack much of a punch these days. I can assure you that a written note of thanks for the efforts of a referral partner will enhance the possibilities that person might refer you again. 5. "Clean up after yourself" My mother keeps a tidy household. I know that she wanted her kids to learn to appreciate a tidy household, so she always would be sure to tell us, "clean up after yourself!" Secretly, I think it was her way of delegating so that she didn't have to spend the little spare time she had, cleaning up after five kids! For me, it worked. I can remember always putting my toys away and tidying up my room. What does cleaning up after yourself have to do with networking? As kids, there was always one last thing to do when we played with our toys ... put them away. That was our quiet lesson in follow-up. We followed-up every play time with a consistent behavior of cleaning up after ourselves. Today, as adults, one huge component of networking is follow-up and more importantly, our ability to do it consistently. Meeting people and building relationships mean very little if we never bother to follow-up with them. Making promises to help someone without efficient follow-up is just a bunch of empty promises. This home grown lesson in follow-up might have been one of the most important networking lessons of all. These five lessons grounded me as a person and helped to develop me into a successful professional. As I write this article, I can hear my mom saying, "Some day you'll thank me!" Thanks, mom! ... for covertly teaching me lessons that would one day help me to be an effective networker! Perhaps it's time you thanked your mom today as well. 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